5 reason why i should get the heck outta this city.

1. Sanity is crucial. I once read a book entitled Cala Ibi by one of Indonesia’s most prolific contemporary writers, Nukila Amal, and there was this one special chapter dedicated to Jakarta.
One passage reads: “Ini kota duka. Bisa membuat orang gila.”
(This is the city of grief. It can drive people crazy)
Another one: “Pernah ada penelitian tentang kewarasan manusia Jakarta. Tiga dari lima manusianya terganggu mental. Itu mengkhawatirkanku. Tiga dari lima siapapun manusia yang berpapasan denganku berpotensi menjelma orang gila.”
(There was a research about the sanity of Jakartans. Three out of five of its citizens are mentally disturbed. That worries me. Three out of five people I meet has the potential to turn into a lunatic)
And another one: “Ini kota yang menyebarkan energi negatif. Dan paranoia, menjadi insting paling primitif.”
(This city channels negative energy. And paranoia, becomes the most primal instinct)

Also, I found an article on Sunday Jakarta Post this morning (August 16/09), in the streetsmart column by Kartika Jahja, entitled Schizophrenic City. “Jakarta, being the city that it is, undoubtedly offers moist soil for mental illnesses to flourish in. Jobs are scarce, people are predators, living is expensive, and commuting is a daily battle.” Damn right. And her friend was right too, that “Jakarta should have more mental facilities than malls.” But then again, “The malls are mental facilities. They just don’t know it.” Big fat LOL.

I know that dying from Schizophrenia is far from possible, but I can just picture my funeral if say, my cause of death was mental illness.
Some guy/girl: Oh this is very sad, how did she die?
A friend: Lunacy killed her.
Some guy/girl: *confused* Luna-who?
A friend: She spent most of her life in Jakarta.
Some guy/girl: (with a look of comprehension) Ahh, no wonder...
That gets me scared shitless, when madness in Jakarta gradually becomes a normal daily sight.

2. Time is money. Not in here, apparently. Time means spending valuable seconds on road, getting dead stuck in some everlasting traffic jam. I did my calculations. On a normal basis, if you lived in Jakarta for all your lifetime, and you lived for 70 years, you would spend 8 bloody years on traffic. That is: 4 hours per day = 1460 hours per year = (say you have about 50 productive years) 73000 in total, which calculates to 8.3 years. EIGHT POINT THREE YEARS OF YOUR LIFE you spend from the inside of your car, grumpily complaining how chaotic the traffic is, grumpily wondering when your car is finally going to move, grumpily turning the inside of your brain into a massive soggy lump of absurd dullness. Imagine what you can do with those 8 years. You can go around the globe, relaxing weed-smoking deer-hunting adventure-craving spirituality-cleansing. You can pursue your lifelong dreams, cure cancer become a president invent talking trees be successfully happy. Or you can just simply enjoy life.

In case I was exaggerating, I told my mom about my calculations. Her response was, “No, you’re wrong. I read the official statistic on the internet once, and it’s actually 15 years more or less.” Now you see what I’m talking about?

3. Hypocrisy prevails. You take one upper class mall in Jakarta, get into one of the branded or semi-branded shops you can find, and there you will find a tank top costs near 1 million rupiah. And people who actually buy it. Don’t get me wrong, of course they do that in other countries too, like America. But have you realized that America is one of the countries with the most powerful economics in the world, and we live in one of the most economically under-developed countries on earth? In Jakarta we own most of the richest people in Indonesia, but when you take a little peek under the freeway bridge, you’ll find some of the most degraded, rejected, underprivileged citizens Indonesia can ever offer. The thing that the haves mostly don’t realize is that 20% of the richest people in Jakarta own about 70% of the city’s wealth, which leaves the rest 80% of its citizen with a mere 30%. And I’m not even going to talk about corruption and the power of capitalism, which makes the rich richer and the poor poorer. So when you buy that 1 million rupiah tank top, where exactly is your shame? One thing straight, I don’t want to live in a city where its citizens have no shame! Drives me nuts...

4. To volunteer in minimizing Jakarta’s excessive population. 8 million at night, 12 million at noon working hours. With an infrastructure this bad, how is that not excessive? Every one of them equally too desperate to leave, thinking that this city offers anything they’d ever wanted. And I’m not going to deny that alright, you can find everything here; it’s a goddamn luxurious paradise. With the increasing numbers of newcomers each year, apparently some need to do a bit of volunteering just to keep the population balanced, and I am indefinitely more than pleasured to be that sacrificial lamb.

5. Last but not least, I sweat like a pig here. I know this is a tropical country, and it is supposed to be hot and all, but this is just absurd! In Jakarta you don’t get only the heat from the sun, but also from the traffic pollution, the air-conditioner which blows hot wind outside of your house, the reflected sunrays from the windows of a skyscraper onto another, the rigorous breath of the 20 million living objects. If this keeps going on, in 2030 we’d be nothing but a bunch of slow-cooked meats on a gigantic cauldron. I can’t live well under this unbearable heat, especially when it’s not the kind of breezy heat you get in beaches either. I can’t think, I can’t feel, I complain all the time, I spend fortune on sunscreens, all I want to do is just stick my head in the freezer and pretend I’m on a vacation in Alaska. FYI, if you are wondering what gives me the right to complain about the heat since it’s just the way it is, I actually do my share not to make hell hotter than it already is. I don’t use aircon in my room, I recycle used papers for printing, my family very rarely ever buys frozen food, and I take public transport 60% of the time, even though God only knows how much I hate it. Eat that.

So there goes. Whoever reads this, please do not hesitate to give me a reason why I should love living in Jakarta; then maybe, just maybe, I’ll consider staying. Who knows?

Call me an escapist, but that’s still not going to prevent me from trying to be happy.

Human behaviour.

Have you ever felt that u were too individualistic that u started disliking people around you? Or maybe, for some reason unexplainable, have you ever felt like you just didn't like the people you were with, and the only reason u could think about was because you were too individualistic?

My point is, I perfectly know that we all were destined to be socially-dependent creatures, that we couldn't live without one another. The things is, we are all different. And I do realize that we have to have enough tolerance and patience to be able to connect to each other. But sometimes, what's lacking is understanding. When somebody behaves differently than you do, if you were a sensible person, you try to be tolerant enough to accept them. You tell yourself to ignore your differences and just accept them into your life. But ignoring the differences doesn't mean understanding them. When you ignore, you don't even try to understand, instead you just jump right into the finish line to make everything easier.

Ignoring differences are almost as bad as not accepting them at all. Slightly worse maybe, because if you don't accept them at all, at least you've saved some energy and emotions by not being a hypocrite, rather than people who act like they gladly accept those differences, but actually deep inside they couldn't actually care less.

Since I'm in my hating mood right now, I'm very much tempted to list the kinds of people i hate. Well, hate is a strong word, so may i say, dislike.

1. Bad listeners. People who have their eyes all over the place when you talk to them, and then give a really bad response which indicates that they don't give a damn.
2. Over-the-top ignorants. If you don't care about anything else, then give me a good reason why I should care about you. If you only cared for survival, try life for a change.
3. Anti-criticisms critics. I know you like to point out other people's flaws so much. Maybe it gives you pleasure doing that, maybe you feel superior above the people you critisize, maybe you think you know better, who knows? But how come you get all frowny when we criticize you?
4. Narrow-minded stuck-ups. Ha, it's funny how some people can be both narrow-minded and stuck-up. Or maybe it does make sense, since if you were narrow minded, the only thing that revolves around in your little world would be yourself, so that automatically makes you a stuck-up. And if you were a stuck up, you would think that you were the most sparkling diamond around, and every other thing would be nothing but sad little specks of dust, and that automatically makes you narrow-minded. Anyhoo, both are dejected in the same measure.
5. Smartasses. Hear yourself talking, please.

I might be a hypocrite for writing the list above, but hey, fortunately hypocrites aren't included in the list! So as long as I don't hate myself, everything will go along juuust fine... Like what the say, love yourself, love life.

"...You'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior..."
The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger
(Spoken by the character Mr. Antolini)

P.S. Boy, do I need too add some new people into my life...

I'm selfish for not being a nationalist.

I’m selfish for hating to go on public buses, because their condition is far from adequate.

I’m selfish for continually watching American cable TV, because the local TV channels are filled with nothing but tacky soap operas and cheap entertainments.

I’m selfish for not enjoying the scenery whenever I drive around the city, because the sights of street children and beggars everywhere are sure not pretty.

I’m selfish for having a second thought of whom I may choose on the presidential election, because, well, how could we all not?

I’m selfish for always comparing my country to others that had achieved their independence later than mine, nevertheless develops faster and stronger in time.

I’m selfish for questioning, where did all that money go? To national growth or corporate greed?

I’m selfish for never rolling my window down on a morning city drive, simply because I don’t want to get killed by the carbon-monoxide pollution.

I’m selfish for realizing the big contrast between the rich and the poor, and who eats whom.

I’m selfish for doubting them as they say “Treasure our own culture”, because all I can see is their willingness to let Westernization in and turn ethnic morality into a form of ambiguity.

I’m selfish for wishing I could fly, so I don’t have to waste one-third of my day getting stuck in a chaotic traffic jam.

I’m selfish for wondering how the geographical benefits we had at first could turn into a profit for wealthy nations with dominating powers and left us nothing with but defeat.

I’m selfish for wanting to get out, to escape; because overtime, my faith in my own country is getting distorted in shape.