Happiness.

I got accepted into 2 of the 3 universities i applied in. As of the 3rd one, which is University of Indonesia (the number 1 uni in this country), the entrance result hasn't came up yet. As odd as it seems, I so truly hope I don't get in. I have my own reasons, one of them being it is located in Jakarta. One more year living in this goddamn city and under the same goddamn roof as my parents and I'll go nuts.

Anyways, the 2 universities are:

Bandung Institute of Technology, faculty of Geo Engineering. I failed in getting into architecture. But who cares, this uni's still on the top 3 and ranks number 1 for all its technological studies in Indonesia.

University of Padjadjaran, faculty of Psychology. I took Science Studies in highschool, and most unis in Indonesia categorize Psychology as a Social Study. Therefore, unless I took extra study hours to master Social Studies, I wouldn't be able to get into Psychology major. This uni here is one of the very few unis that mostly accept students of Science Studies in its Faculty of Psychology, because the subjects rely more on the brain pattern of those who study Science in highschool. Plus, this uni's still on the top 10, I think.

I don't mean to boast, but toldja I was gonna be glorious ;)

Random shizzzzzzzzz.

Recently I had a chat with a really good friend of mine whom I haven't seen for 3 years and talked to for months. My memory of him back when we were still together is that he was such an absolutely talented manga artist and he used to make fun of my retarded so-called Inuyasha sketches. Anyway he agreed to draw me (manga style) out of his memory of what I looked like 3 years ago. And this is what he came up with:


... And that looks nothing like me D***: well maybe the fringe. And the bottom lip piercing (stupid fugly Indonesian school made me took my baby off!!!) But OMG is my face that ambiguous????????? jhsfkugryilsrdtghrfisdgilfdug7sjhfgsukl roflmao

Yeah this post is totally not worth your time :p

Highschool is more fun if there's somebody to stalk.

This is me and my bff, Tara
We share the same crush at school
But instead of turning into rivals
We decided to go for threesome
(IF we have the chance to, obviously)
But anyways, how AWESOME are we?? :D

P.S. Puppy love is the coolest kind of love ever exist

Sunset avenue.

Have you ever tried going for a drive on a highway at sunset, just when the thin line of the horizon lies right in the middle of the sinking sun?

If u haven't , I'll tell you what it feels like. It feels like going on a ride that you secretly wish would never end. It feels like it doesn't matter anymore where you're heading and what's your purpose, because for a moment you feel contented and mildly disconnected to any other world beyond your little own. It feels like galloping on some ethereal dream-like road which final destination is slightly forgotten. It feels as if you have the ability to freeze time every time you turn a corner and wish that the distant sun would stay partially afloat above the horizon.

You think of colors. There aren't that many colors you can see when you go for a drive on a highway at sunset. Grey, fading azure, yellow, a strike of orange, silhouetted green. Clashing colors of light and dark so harmonized it makes you unsure whether to feel depressed or blissful. Nevertheless, those vague colors reminds you of how things are not always within your comprehension, and sometimes obscurity could lead to something breathtaking.

You think of sounds. Sadly, there's nothing else you can hear except the buzzing noise of wind striking against the machine and the unfamiliar chit-chat coming from the radio. You strive for something else, an uplifting sound to match the overwhelming twilight that falls gracefully just before the night stars show up. Add then it crosses your mind that maybe what you actually need is silence, because only with the absence of sound one can perfectly absorb the essence of a certain beauty.


It feels like entering a pathway in which everything suddenly turns delicate and fragile, and you begin to realize that nothing lasts forever.

How do you hold a sunbeam in your hand?

Beyond the gleaming waters, the smoldering waves
Over the great blazing skies, the silhouetted days
Down descend the sun from its mighty throne
Slowly vanishing behind a thin line, poised yet alone

Gone are the hours in which lights prevailed
Bringing home the weary ships that sailed
On a pathway of orange across the sea
Under the bursting colors of twilight’s beauty

Night falls, stars twinkle, noises fade out
“Where did dusk go?” I may shout
It left nothing but warmth upon the sand
And delicate traces of sunbeam in my hand

By Adilla Mutia Fatimah

Diamond in the rough.

If my heart was as vast as the universe, Arfani would be the void, zero-gravity spaces between galaxies.

How to spice up my super looooong holiday.

Today, as I was walking Arfani around the neighborhood (note: Arfani is my 16-months-old little brother), two little slum kids from the village nearby aged about 4 and 7 approached us and started playing with Arfani. Between curiosity and boredom, I talked to the elder one, and proceeded to have a very interesting conversation. Apparently they're siblings, and their dad left them since she was a baby. Now her single mother have to feed the mouth of 5 children all by herself. She wants to be a doctor, although by the looks of her entangled hair, dust coated face, ragged clothes and barefoot feet, her mother doesn't have the capability to realize her dreams. One of her friends, who happened to be living next door to her, had already given up school and is now busking on the streets to earn some more money.

As the minutes went by, one by one other kids started coming and joined out group. I ended up teaching them some English. It was by far the most useful thing i had squeezed out of my leisure time during the holidays. They ended up asking me to join their little Friday-nite fun in the Setu Babakan night market, they're picking me up at 7 :)

Holiday goal: Volunteer in the community library and continue teaching English. Hopefully.

P.S. I just discovered that my first kiss also had me as his first, How fascinating!

I <3 water, salt, sand, sunbeam, tan, temporary tatts.

You know what's funny? I can spend days on beaches, forests, hilltops, treetops, or a friggin safari park, but I can barely spend 3 hours in a mall without getting bored. Now I wouldn't call myself old-fashioned, I just simply love nature :D

So the deal is, I just came back from a trip to the Anyer beach with my friends. Because it took us almost three hours to get there, we decided to rent an apartment and stay a night over. Actually there is a nearer beach to Jakarta, called Ancol and only an hour away, but it's too crowded and not even beautiful.

And as always, it was awesome. I have been to Anyer and stayed at the same apartment three times in a year and it never failed to make me happy. Well, Anyer is not actually a white-sand, clear-turquoise-water kind of beach, but I love the waves there. They're not too soft nor too rough, just perfect for bodysurfing. What I usually do is paddle with my bodysurf-board further up to the sea, to the spot where the water current would just pass me through without breaking down into ripples of waves, and then lie down on the board with my back facing the sun. It's a perfect way of getting some tan and relaxing your mind from the busy hassle of... everything.



While I was at it, two songs kept repeating themselves in my head:

"I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds
Strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind
Pretend that I am weightless
And in this moment I am happy...happy"
I Wish You Were Here - Incubus

"These canals, it seems, they all go in circles
Places look the same, and we're the only difference
The wind is in your hair, it's covering my view
I'm holding on to you, on a bike we've hired until tomorrow"
Cayman Islands - Kings of Convenience

One more thing, I actually have this holiday syndrome: Whenever I go someplace else as a vacation and had a good time, I would start reminiscing my time and couldn't help but wanting to go back there again when I got back home. And that's the kind of state I am in right this second.

And besides Peter Pan, I have one more person to fantasize about: Tarzan.