Another day wasted.

I like it when guys like me coz they think I'm different. Like, when they (or he, whatever) sent me a text message at 4 o'clock in the morning to say "...i think you're different from most girls, in a good way". And when the next day I told him, "thanks, you made me feel special", he replied with "you are special". It felt drop-dead-satisfying. It's like winning a game you've been playing for your entire life. It's like having a glow-in-the-dark substance flowing through your veins. It's like being bold when every other thing is dull.

Unfortunately that particular guy is somewhere across the universe.

Anyway, i have a book recommendation: the Catcher in the Rye.


It's a about a boy named Holden Caulfield, and he's like, totally lost. Not lost as in stranded on some solitary island, bust lost as in not knowing what to expect from life. He just got expelled from his boarding school - in which he never felt belong anyway - and he decided to runaway home, because, well, he thought he just couldn't live there anymore.

So in search of himself, he did a concealed, internal rebellion on the world - his world, to be precise. He viewed everything like nobody had ever done before, minding the simple trivial details while exuding logical skepticism out of his every thought. He examined everything he saw, felt, heard, tasted, fantasized, with descriptions that were both obscure yet engaging, exaggerated yet inevitably true. His feeling of alienation made him hard to trust anyone. Anyone except his little sister, Phoebe, whom he thought was the only one he knew who had a clear mind amidst all the nonsense he was getting through.

And to that little Phoebe he finally spilled out his whole heart. His deepest, incomprehensible thought that made him the way he was:

"...I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around — nobody big, I mean — except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff — I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be. I know it's crazy."

And instantly i fell in love with him.

P.S. This entry is titled Another Day Wasted because right now, right this moment, I'm supposed to be studying physics for the upcoming exam. All i did was flick through a couple of pages and then got tempted to write. *sigh*


peter loves wendy